Mastering Consistency with Prayer
Would I be wrong in claiming that the hardest aspect of forming any healthy habit is sticking to it? How many times have you made a promise to actually start using that gym membership or make better food choices or reduce your screen time on your phone? And don’t get me wrong – you do - for a day or two or even three and then come the next dawn, all promises are tossed out of the window?!
Would I be wrong in claiming that the hardest aspect of forming any healthy habit is sticking to it? How many times have you made a promise to actually start using that gym membership or make better food choices or reduce your screen time on your phone? And don’t get me wrong – you do - for a day or two or even three and then come the next dawn, all promises are tossed out of the window?!
And then begins the cycle all over again.
We can only laugh at the irony of this. In our eternal bids to be consistent, the only thing we are truly consistent at is starting something, then stopping again.
Consistency in and with salah is just as challenging. We must of course acknowledge the variations in all of our personal journeys with prayer. What I mean by this is that for some of us, the struggle lies in being consistent with the Fajr prayer. For some, it could be offering their prayers at the designated times. For others, it could be maintaining a certain standard of khushu’ (calmness and attentiveness) in each prayer. The variables are many but the essence of our struggles is the same. You are not alone. However, consistency is highly valued in Islam.
“The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those that are most consistent, even if it is small.” [Bukhari]
This hadith is so encouraging as it celebrates our smallest actions as the most fruitful. The sentiment of this hadith also embodies the ease of our religion – no good deed should ever be overwhelming and with consistency, the believer’s energy, enthusiasm and reward is perpetuated.
So the question here is how can we strive to become consistent in our salah journeys?
The answer lies in applying the psychology behind habit-formation to our prayers. Let’s break this down in a series of actionable steps to kickstart (or restart!) our consistency with salah.
5 Steps to consistency in Prayer:
1. Why is this important to me:
What is your long-term gain? Why is this outcome so desirable to you? How will the mastery of this gain make you feel? The first step is to identify this because when your energy is waning, and the process feels long, your desired outcome can be the light at the end of your tunnel.
2. How can I reach this goal:
As important as it is to identify the outcome, the process is perhaps more significant. The process requires effort and hard work, and so a plan must be put in place to conquer. Start by focusing on one tiny goal. Say, for example, your long-term goal is to read your five daily prayers, and at present, you offer only one; choose a second salah that you know is the easiest for you to stick to. This salah doesn’t have to be perfect yet; the fact that you are praying it at this stage is a win in itself. Work out how you’ll get there too. If you are aiming for consistent Fajr prayers for example, identify what it is that obstructs your path. Then problem solve. You may have to move your alarm far away from your bed so that you are forced to get up to turn it off, and having gotten up anyway, you can now offer
your salah as physically leaving the bed was the hardest part for you. Problem solved!
3. Preparation is paramount:
Anticipate the lows. Without a doubt, you will feel uninspired. There will be days when you will not want to pray. There will be days when concentrating throughout the prayer will be hard. But get up and pray anyway. By expecting the very natural phenomenon after starting something new that you will experience days where you want to quit, you can prepare beforehand. This might be in the form of an accountability partner – somebody who reminds you as to why you started this journey in the first place or somebody you can talk through your perceived barriers.
4. Kindness is key:
Be kind to yourself and show yourself some compassion. Forgive yourself if you fail to act upon your goal. It is so easy to punish ourselves when we don’t commit to a task, and as a by-product, we end up demotivated. This results in more inaction. Forgiveness allows us to recover from our setbacks and resume our journeys once again.
5. Seek His guidance:
Seek guidance and forgiveness from Allah too. Ultimately, He is the one who sees our efforts, and He is the one who guides us toward them. The entire universe could stand together to obstruct your path, but with Allah’s Will, you will still succeed. Seeking forgiveness will open doors for you that you will not expect, and your process will be brilliantly accommodating. It is as the noble Prophet (peace
be upon him) said,
“If anyone constantly seeks pardon (from God), God will appoint for them a way out of every distress and a relief from every anxiety...” [Abu Dawud]
Allah will never waste your efforts.
Now that we've discussed the steps to achieve consistency in prayer, let's consider a real-life example that showcases how consistency can be rewarding.
The following account titled ‘Makeup and Salah’ has been reprinted with the permission of the author who runs the educational institute: Arabic with Mariam.
‘Especially during the wedding season, we all spend so much time making our makeup perfect or paying to get it done. This wedding I treated myself to this (having my makeup applied).
As soon as I got home, though, I needed to use the bathroom!
I had prayed my Duhr, but now ‘Asr? The wedding wouldn’t be over until after Maghrib. What would I do?
I thought I’d figure something out. As end of ‘Asr time was fast approaching, I struggled a little. I tried to think of a way to get away with washing off this makeup. I (had) paid to get it done, and also I felt good wearing it. How awkward would I look with a bare face? And I hadn’t taken any of my makeup along with me? But I knew that (making) Qadha of salah on purpose is sinful – allowing the time to pass and saying I’ll pray later would make me sinful. I also knew makeup isn’t a valid excuse to (miss) salah.
The message of this verse came to me: “That which is by you will perish, and that which is by Allah is permanent.” [Surah Nahl:96]
At that moment, I realized that what I was worried about was how people would perceive me. But this is temporary; even if I didn’t look good, they would forget. But what is by Allah is permanent!
I got up, washed it off, and prayed my ‘Asr.
I prayed on the grass by the lake with a breeze coming by, and honestly I felt the permanence; this is whatreally mattered. My soul felt deep contentment.
All praise to Allah for guiding me to this.
The best part was when I returned to the bathroom; this lovely girl offered me to borrow some of her makeup to reapply!’
I re-shared this story because of how much it inspired me in the hope that it will inspire you too. For the men out there, perhaps your struggle lies in leaving the comfort of your home to offer your prayers at the Masjid or getting up reluctantly in the middle of a game or something similar. Whatever the case, in our anecdote above, the beautiful narrator of the above felt temporarily swayed by the pleasure keeping her makeup on would bring her. But as soon as she had identified the obstruction and anticipated the temporary nature of this pleasure, she held herself accountable by comparing such fleeting moments with the permanence of Allah’s
love and reward for her. In doing so, she stuck by her guns having reminded herself of her goals and offered her salah as she usually does (consistency!). Though only Allah can speak of her reward in the Hereafter, a small taste of sweet contentment (and more makeup) she received.
I pray your patience and strive is rewarded with ease, contentment and consistency!
With love,
Minara